Olympic mania

Proof that I am taking it all very seriously

That opening ceremony was something else, no wonder the queen had that "we are not amused look" throughout the proceedings. I have a sneaky feeling it was because they didn't let her do the helicopter parachute jump. (Or else she thought she was being asked to play the role of M in the next Bond film and realised as the stuntman jumped out in The Same Dress as Hers that this, alas, wasn't the case).As for the rest .... all very spectacular, but what did it all mean??

So now we have wall to wall Olympics, how is it possible not to get involved with things such as the most highly decorated fingernails manicure event?

Family and friends will confirm that I am not the most coordinated or sporty of individuals, however, I have become rather taken up with the archery and fencing. Neither demands a long concentration span, and the archery has the added advantage of having scoring rules which are easy to understand, (as well as some rather nice hats). The fencing rules are rather more beyond comprehension and the flashing red and green lights do little to lessen my confusion, but all that thrust and parrying is very balletic, even if you can't tell which competitor is which.

I look forward to the Synchronised Swimming, though having attended three aquatrim classes recently it has dawned on me that I don't have the necessary skills for this event either. Despite my best attempts to push the extremely buoyant noodle (see left) underwater and then stand on it, and then raise both feet up and down at the same time, I failed miserably; not least because I couldn't even get it sufficiently underwater to reach knee level, let alone foot level. I fared little better when trying to sit on the damned thing while waving arms and legs in several and opposite directions. While all around me were balancing their actions perfectly, I was the only one spluttering and floundering upside down in the water.